Can Man vs. The Raccoon

So before I headed to work Thursday morning (11/17/05) I decided to take a whole bunch of my cans and bottles out to the dumpster and set them just inside the fence. I didn't get all of them, but I got most of them. I hate taking those things to the machines at Hy-Vee, so somebody might as well get something out of it, right? If the can men are willing to work that hard, it's theirs. Really, if you think about it, I'm promoting commerce.

So I get back from work, and who's heading towards my dumpster, but a can man! I asked myself, "What Would Larry David Do?" Well, Larry would let the guy know he left some gifts out for him, and had more in the apartment if he needed them.

What a samaritan.

I told the guy I had more, and I went inside and grabbed the rest of my cans and bottles. Sure enough, we struck up a conversation. Why? Because that's what Larry David would do! (That's one thing Larry and I have in common: we enjoy engaging in interesting chit-chat with anyone. A former governor, a famous athlete, a rock star...or a can man.)

Even a gangsta rapper.

Turns out the can man's name was Nate. He's the one who looks like Chris Rock and always wears that long lavender women's coat. He told me he particularly appreciated me leaving my cans and bottles outside the dumpster. Apparently, there's a raccoon that lives in there. It came after him the other day, and he threw a bottle at it in self-defense. (God DAMN but I wish I could have seen that.)

So Nate told me it was still in the dumpster, sleeping, and he didn't want to wake it up. Being the idiot I am, I poked my head in there. (Plus I think the sight of me running from a raccoon would have been pretty funny to the neighbors, and a good story for the radio show.)

Sure enough, there he was...

(Yes, I even went inside my apartment, got my camera, and pressed my luck by snapping a photo of him.)

Now I just need to come up with a name. Ricky? Rocky? Cooney? If you have any suggestions email tommylang941@yahoo.com. I'll post the winner here at some point in the future.

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